Free Xbox Live Gold week, or free virtual girlfriend? It's all so confusing! [update 1]

by Vladimir Cole { Apr 26th 2006 at 1:39AM }

As we were just saying in the previous post, Microsoft's got a lot of irons in the fire. The "free Xbox Live week" promotion seems to be particularly well-liked by the folks at Microsoft and Verizon, as the two companies have made plans to make the week of May 8th through May 14th free to broadband-connected Xbox 360 owners.

The newest promotion is timed to coincide with E3, and will also include a giveaway of one million Microsoft Points and a "backstage" E3 pass (did you boys pick those up on Craigslist, by any chance?).

Just because we're borderline obsessive-compulsive, here's everything that Joanna Dark says upon loading the promotion page (with our comments in brackets):

Don't keep me waiting [I'm hurrying, but these damned foil packages are so hard to open in the dark!]
I'm free all week [As opposed to for-pay the rest of the time... undertones of prostitution here. Sure, why not?]
You got a week. Come get some. ["Some what," we wonder, as we stare at Ms. Dark's fetching hindquarters.]
Don't arrive early. [A joke about premature arrival? Totally unexpected.]
Are you ready to play?
I'm game. Are you?
You want a piece of me? [Can't get much more explicit than this.]
Hope your couch is comfortable [It's fine for playing games. Here, put down that riding crop and have a controller.]
Hey, you got me all week [Why does she punctuate only some sentences? This annoys us.]
I'll be there. Will you? ["She told me to come but I was already there." -- AC/DC]

[Via too many tips to count.]

[Update 1: Neither Microsoft nor Verizon have announced this deal yet, so we eliminted language in the first paragraph that suggests that the companies have made an official proclamation. A Microsoft spokeswoman notes, "we plan on releasing more information early next week."]

Tags: joanna dark, JoannaDark, pdz, perfect dark zero, verizon, xbl, xbla, xbox live

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Lostzenfound @ Apr 26th 2006 1:50AM

That sounds great ... but since I've already paid for that week, as well as the rest of the year. They should maybe extend my subscription an extra week. Nothing is as awesome as watching other people enjoy for free, what cost me $50. ... How screwed.

Sloopydrew @ Apr 26th 2006 2:28AM

I'm still bitter over the million point giveaway from last time. Verizon said, every time you clicked the link on their promotional site, to be back on a certain date. I went there at 12:00 AM on the date given, and all the points were already gone. Turns out they gave them away a day early.

Those points plus these new points, plus the 400 unused points I have (Feeding Frenzy and horse armor just didn't do it for me) could have probably bought me Street Fighter II on the Xbox Live Arcade, if the thing doesn't turn out to be vaporware.

The other thing Verizon did was let people sign up numerous times, receiving thousands of points. This is after claiming that only one person per console would be able to claim the points. The whole thing was poorly set up. Hopefully they do better next time.

Sloopydrew @ Apr 26th 2006 2:53AM

"A joke about premature arrival? Totally unexpected."

That was funny! Oh, do I have stories I could tell. Wait ... er ... yeah.

gnome @ Apr 26th 2006 7:21AM

Not particularly...

whiskeyseven @ Apr 26th 2006 9:22AM

the only person I know who used the last free gold weekend WAS my girlfriend :)

how jealous are you?

573 @ Apr 26th 2006 9:42AM

What's creepy is all her comments were most likely written by a man.

vc @ Apr 26th 2006 10:10AM

That is rather creepy, 573.

I assume was also designed by men, so perhaps it's fitting that she be given voice by them, too.

Douggy @ Apr 26th 2006 11:08AM

Does anyone else think Joanna looks particularly seductive on this page?

Wait, don't answer that....

Russell Carroll @ Apr 26th 2006 11:20AM

So where does this fit in with the whole family friendly BS that MS is shoveling? Let's deal with what the Xbox is...a toy targeted at little boys.

jaemz @ Apr 26th 2006 1:26PM

While I see where you are going with this, Russell... I don't agree 100%.

I think the Xbox360 is targeted towards gamers aged 15-35 (mostly male with sports and fps games).

This Xbox Live Gold Week promo, does seem to fit into your 'targeted at little boys' generalization, but I don't think that makes everything about the X360 fall there.

Rob Stevens @ Apr 26th 2006 3:50PM

I was under the impression that Adidas was sponsoring Xbox Live during E3 week.

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Ads on a comments board? Lame

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Matt @ May 8th 2006 5:50PM

How do you use the free week of XBOX Live anyway? My month just expired and I'd rather not buy a year yet if I can get a week free first.

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